


This is New

by smolnoodles



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Asexual Sans, Multi, Nonbinary Frisk, PTA Sans, Will probably include alphyne and maybe papyton, but theyre not the focus and I dont wanna spam ship tags, fuck linda, gender neutral reader, i know the majority of yall are nasty sinner s though, kinda like a whole lilo and stitch thing, might be angsty because im an evil motherfucker but maybe not, monster racism, mostly from linda, past soriel maybe, reader has a little brother, sans is gonna be passive aggressive as hell it's gonna be fun, some cursing but if you want i can try to tone it down, that they have to take care of because their parents died, theyre on good terms though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2016-11-08
Packaged: 2018-05-04 21:52:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5349803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smolnoodles/pseuds/smolnoodles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For years after your parents died, you've tried your best to be a good replacement for your little brother. Even if you have to juggle two different jobs. There's just one problem-- the PTA meetings are so. Damn. Stressful. Being constantly surrounded by white suburban moms bickering and picking on each other was never your idea of fun. When you heard of monsters coming free from the underground, you had no idea how much things were going to change around here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pilot

**Author's Note:**

> Hi you guys! Just here with a good ol' Sans x Reader fic. I love the idea of PTA Sans so much and I couldn't resist writing this. So anyway, enjoy!

    Your name is (Y/N), and you’ve never hated these goddamn PTA meetings more in your life.

    Ever since your parents died, you had to step in and take care of your little brother, Nicky. You hate to admit that you minded a little-- you were halfway through your sophomore year of college, and you were finally on a path to a good life. You were making excellent grades, and had found a major that you really loved. But you knew in your heart that Nicky needed you, and that he came before anything else. He was a good kid, really. He inherited your brightness, and although he could come off as a little aggressive, he had a good heart. None of that stopped the other mothers from making disdainful comments about your little family, however. The rumors circulated constantly that you were just some deadbeat dropout, and that your brother was some hellbeast because he "wasn't raised right". Those rumors hurt you, but you tried not to show it, or you'd just be giving those crones what you want.

    You steady your shaking hands before reaching for the doorknob.

    “Oh, speak of the devil!” you hear a woman chirp as soon as you enter the conference room. Her hair is in a messy red bun, and her makeup is haphazardly smudged around her face. She would be pretty if she wore a shade of lipstick that suited her skin tone, but the firetruck red made her pearly pale complexion look washed out.

    “Nice to see you too, Meredith,” you say, trying to sound a little less annoyed.

    All eyes were on you as you entered the room and took a chair with a few spaces between the others. You felt as if you really weren't welcome. Hardly anyone was accepting of you anyway.

    “(Y/N), we were just talking about how we needed the opinion, of someone, less, uh….” The woman who spoke had eyes that looked like they would slice you to bits with a single look and perfectly kept and dyed blonde hair. Her long fingernails caressed the string of pearls that hung on her chest. Linda. You never liked her.

    “Linda, hush,” says Janice, “What she means is that we needed the opinion of a more open-minded person. You seem like the perfect candidate!”

    She tries to give you a reassuring smile. Janice was a teacher with dry curls, an olive complexion, and sun crinkles beneath those teary eyes of hers. She constantly looked like she would burst into tears at any moment. You weren’t sure if you trusted her, but she was one of the few ladies that tried to be nice to you. Your stomach twisted in knots; time for another day in freakin’ paradise. But you were going to do it for Nicky.

    “Alright, so, what’s the topic?” you ask, sitting down and grabbing a sugar cookie. The food was bearable sometimes.

    “We were talking about the announcement. Didn’t you hear? The board has elected to allow monsters to attend our school,” Janice replies, “Ladies, would you care to update (Y/N) on your opinions?”

    “I, for one, think it’s a terrible idea! I don’t want my child being around those beasts. We don’t know what they’re capable of!” You look to see Cindy, a woman with dirty blonde hair in a high ponytail slamming her hands on the table and shouting loudly. You don't like her. The woman tries too hard to look and act like a teenage cheerleader when she is in fact, thirty years old. 

    “Yeah! I agree! They were sealed underground for a reason; what if they hurt someone?!” Deborah. That woman was always a snarker. Beneath her mousy looks lay an aggressive woman with a penchant for yelling. People suspect that she has hearing loss, but you think she's just a bitch.

    “I think it’s okay. I mean, their ambassador is just a child,” points out Margaret, “And they survived for quite a while underground all by themselves, maybe even longer than they would up here unattended!” Bless Margaret. She was usually so shy and soft spoken, but you admired her for being able to speak up amidst the angry mob.

    “You’re just a nasty monster lover!” And with that, the entire room erupts into the screams of arguing women. You feel your head throb and you groan. You really couldn’t afford another migraine this week.

    “Would everybody please just SHUT THE HELL UP?!” you yell, clutching your head.

The room quiets immediately. You were usually so soft spoken.

“You guys want my opinion, right? Then let me speak. We’re not talking about letting full-grown monsters into this school-- we’re talking about children. They’re just kids, and they deserve a chance at having an education among humans if they’re going to live in a world mostly populated by them.”

“That’s true,” you hear someone say, and a few others chime in to agree.

“I still don’t get it,” Linda says, “They might be children, but they’re still monsters. I know you might be willing to take a chance with your kid, but I love mine. I’m not going to just sit here and let them mix with those animals.”

“Well gee, Linda, if you think they’re animals, you haven’t been watching the news. Have you heard them speak? At least I don’t live under a rock.”

“At least I know how to raise a child, and I don’t struggle with social services every other week to keep custody of my little girl.”

You’re about to say something scathing you’d probably regret later, when suddenly, the door swings open.

“Uh, hey. Is this where I’m supposed to go for this PTA meeting?”

Everyone turns around, including you. What you see almost makes you burst into laughter. A small skeleton, about four feet tall stands in the doorway. He’s wearing a dark blue hoodie and basketball shorts (you think he’s a he by the sound of his voice), and two white slippers on his feet. Ouch, not exactly the best outfit to make a good first impression on these judgmental ladies. He’s receiving many harsh stares from everyone but you and Janice.

“Wow, um. You guys sure are a tough crowd,” he says, looking a little nervous. You think it’s strange that he can make facial expressions with that ever-present grin on his face, and only two pin-pricks of light to serve as eyes, but somehow, he can.

“Oh, you must be Frisk’s… guardian? I thought his mother was going to be here today,” Janice pipes up.

“Yeah, sorry about that. Toriel’s under the weather. She asked if I could fill in for her,” he replies, plopping himself in a chair next to you. You wonder if he’d heard the conversation.

“Well… that makes sense, I suppose. So you’re Frisk’s father?” Janice looks a little nervous, but he doesn’t seem to care.

“Not exactly. I’m just a really close friend of Tori’s. More like Frisk’s uncle, really.”

“I… see. So, what’s your name then?”

“Oh, sorry. How rude of me not to introduce myself. I’m Sans. Sans the skeleton. Nice to meet you all. What’s up?”

Everyone was silent until Margaret, bless her, spoke up, “We were just discussing how everyone felt about monsters integrating with the rest of the school.”

“Yeah,” Helen says, “And we were agreeing that it would be, um, for the best!” You try not to glare at her. You knew she was always a suck up.

“That’s not what I said,” Linda says.

“Really? What did you say, then?” Sans asks, looking at her with a mixture of intrigue and anger.

“I--” she pauses, “I’m not going to stand here and be intimidated by some monster. I said my piece and I’ll say it again. If we let these things into our school, we’ll put all our children in danger. It’s just not right.”

She finishes, looking uneasy, gaze darting around the room to desperately search for support. Nobody else dares to speak, not even you. You are quite eager to witness Linda’s ass get handed to her by a skeleton in slippers.

“I’m gonna stop and apologize for anything that might offend you guys, but I’m also gonna be frank. What’s your name?”

“Linda.”

“Thanks,” he replies, looking away from her, “Linda is clearly an example of a bad parent. Anyone with remotely parental instincts would not be willing to deprive a kid of getting a freaking education just because of their racism. Don’t be like Linda.”

The room falls silent for about thirty seconds. You’re trying to contain yourself. That was awesome. You wish you had the ability to tell someone off like that without crying or screaming. Sans just kept grinning the whole time. You look at Linda out of the corner of your eye and her face is red. She is as mad as a hornet. Thankfully, Janice speaks up before the situation gets any more tense.

“Okay, well, I think this has been… quite an interesting discussion! But that will be all for today. Meeting adjourned!” With that, Janice stands up and leaves the room, and the other ladies scatter.

As Sans is leaving, you watch his back. He seemed like quite the interesting fellow, and it would be nice to get to know him, but you didn’t want to seem weird. Should you talk to him? Yes, wait, no, too risky. But wait, he sat beside you! But it was too nerve wracking, and you just couldn’t-- steeling your nerves, you walk up to him and tap him on the shoulder. He turns around.

“Uh, can I help you?”

You feel your heart race a little. Why are you so nervous? You’re usually so articulate and calm. “Um… I just think it was really cool how you stood up to Linda back there. Most people don’t do that…”

“Hey, I’ve seen more terrifying things than her. She doesn’t scare me,” he responds.

“Well, that makes one of us,” you say, laughing nervously.

“I guess you could say that dealing with her is a motherfucker.”

“Oh my god, that’s terrible.”

“You’re laughing, though.”

“No shit, Sherlock Bones.”

He just chuckles at that. It’s a low, pleasant sound. You wonder how he can do that with no vocal chords, or how he can squint his eyes when his face is just a skull. He’s still cute, somehow. Wait, what? Oh god no. You are NOT falling for a goddamn skeleton.

“For a human, you sure know how to tickle my funny bone,” he finally says.

“Yeah, well telling jokes are within my radius of skills,” you say.

“I like you,” he says, laughing, “Do you wanna maybe meet somewhere for lunch tomorrow? I could use a few punny friends.”

“Well, I have to work tomorrow… Why not go out for lunch right now, if you’re free?” you ask, with a hopeful expression.

“Eh, well, I was gonna try and clean up, but I could always eat,” he replies.

“Great, so where to?”

“I know a good burger joint around here. It’s run by an old friend of mine.”

 

* * *

 

     You both walk to the restaurant, joking and talking on the way. Upon arrival, you see that the place is called Grillby’s. You think you heard of that one on the news; it’s actually run by a monster. It was one of the first monster-owned businesses to open up above ground. You’d always wanted to come here.

    “Hey, (Y/N), are you there?”

    You snap out of your daze, and realize that you had been staring at the sign in awe. You shake your head, blush painting your cheeks.

    “Heh, cat got your tongue? I like the place too, but it’s not that impressive.”

    “Oh, sorry. I’d just heard about it on the news, that’s all. I wanted to come here, but…”

    “But you were afraid of intruding?” Sans interrupts, “Don’t be. Monsters here are friendly to humans, just as long as you’re not some racist jerk like Linda.”

    You giggle at his comment, the two of you stepping inside.

    The bartender greeted you, and you noticed that he was quite literally made of flames. How the fresh hell did his clothes not get singed? Must have been some kind of magical fire-proof fabric, you decide. There was so much about monsters you didn’t understand, but you were always willing to learn.

    The both of you sit down at the bar, and the bartender passes you menus. Reading his nametag, you discover that he’s Grillby. Wow, it’s kind of rare to see a restaurant owner just serving people like everyone else.

    “So, (Y/N), something’s been on my mind. You look a little young to be a parent, why is that?”

    “Well, I’m not actually a parent. You see, my brother and I are orphans, so I…” You pause. Most people react with scorn when you tell them that you dropped out of college.

    “Hey, don’t worry, I won’t make you tell me, but I won’t judge either.” That makes you feel a little better.

    “Well... “ you sigh, “I was in college, but when my parents died, I dropped out to raise him. I’m trying to be the best big sibling I can be, and I’m trying to get involved so he has a good school experience. He’s in the fifth grade now, so it’s not like I’ll be going back to school anytime soon.

    “I understand. If it were my brother, I’d sacrifice that too. You must care a whole lot about your family, huh?”

“I do… Ah, sorry, I don’t mean to be a downer. We should probably order soon.”

“Yeah, that’s true. You in the mood for a burger, or just fries?”

“This place only serves two things?” You look down at the menu to discover that indeed, it only serves burgers and fries (with the exception of some drinks and shakes).

“What, human restaurants have more options? That sounds stressful,” Sans remarks.

“It can be. Anyway, why not have both? I’m pretty hungry.”

“Burgers and fries? Heh, I knew there was a reason I liked you. Hey, Grillby. Two orders of burgers and two orders of fries.”

The bartender stares (how can he do that with no face…?) and then nods before leaving.

“Um… Tell me, Sans, what kind of things are you interested in?” you ask, trying to strike up a conversation again. Immediately, his eyes seem to light up like christmas trees.

    “This may come as a surprise, but I actually like science. Science is cool.”

    “Ah, really? I like science too!” you say, leaning in, “So tell me, what’s your opinion on sustainable energy sources?”

    “My opinion? Honestly, you guys should have stopped using fossil fuels a long time ago. I know you don’t have magic, but haven’t you already come up with solar energy and wind turbines and stuff?”

    “Ugh, I know, right? And freaking fossil fuels are causing climate change! Why does nobody care about the fact that the arctic is melting?”

    “Yeah, stupid greenhouse gases. The carbon dioxide also causes your oceans to turn into acid, did you know that?”

    “What, really? Why does nobody ever talk about this?”

    Your passionate conversation is only interrupted by the sliding of plates toward you. You see Grillby walking away. A red bird monster sitting a seat away from you speaks.

    “He says you two are nerds.”

    You flush deeply, and look at Sans, who is trying not to laugh. You just move your plate toward yourself and begin munching on the fries.

    “Hey, do you want any ketchup?” Sans asks.

    “Nah. Never liked the stuff.”

    “Cool.” With that, he just picks up the bottle and starts chugging it. The sight makes you feel nauseated. You wonder how it doesn’t just leak through his shirt, since he probably doesn’t even have a stomach.

    “Oh, and before you ask, monster food is made of magic. It converts to energy as soon as you swallow it. So that’s why.”

    “Did you just read my mind? I didn’t take you for a psychic.”

    “Nah. I just get that question a lot.”

    “Oh.”

    You dig into your burger and fries, and for the rest of the your time together, you continue talking to him between bites of food. You find out that his brother is named Papyrus (why are they named after fonts?), and that he has another friend who would love to talk to you. Her name is Alphys, and she was supposedly a scientist and a huge nerd. At the end of it all, Sans gives you his number.

    “Oh, and don’t worry about the bill. It’s already on my tab.” And with that, he’s gone. How did he just vanish like that?

    And more importantly, did you just go on a date with a skeleton?


	2. A Happening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summaries are for losers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been taking so long! Finals are terrible, people. Anyway, I worked hard on this chapter. Have fun reading it!

    You feel your lungs and your legs burning as you continue to sprint, praying in a fevered manner that your brother is still okay. When you got that phone call from daycare about him getting into a fight and sneaking away, your heart began to race, and time seemed to slow down around you. In a fight? Was he injured? Why would he do this when you had told him to be good? All these thoughts continue to swirl around your brain like a hurricane, leaving you feeling slightly dizzy, but you shake your head. You have to get home. You have to make sure that he was there. It’s at that moment that your phone starts ringing.

    ‘Ugh, this is hardly the time!’ you think, but then you wonder briefly if it could be Nicky. You did, after all, give him a small cell phone. You answer it without even looking at the caller ID.

    “Hello? Who is this?”

    “Hey, (Y/N). I was actually wondering if you wanted to--”

    “Sans, I can’t. I’m in trouble right now.” You feel bad for coming off so harsh, but you were very stressed out right now. Even if you did manage to find Nicky, you figured your boss would not forgive you running out of the coffee shop with no explanation, especially during their busiest hours.

    “You sound awful. Sure you couldn’t use any help?”

    “I mean, I’d appreciate it, but--”

    “Great, I’m on my way.” And with that, he hangs up. You’re confused. You didn’t even tell him where you were. How was he supposed to--

    “Hey there, kiddo.”

    You turn around, looking at Sans with a shocked expression. “How did you…?”

    “Some monsters can do magic. I can teleport.” That answered a hell of a lot of questions. “Anyway, what’s up?”

    “I…” You gulp, “I got a call from the daycare. Nicky got into a fight, and he ran away, and GOD DAMN do my legs hurt.”

    Sans gives you an understanding look. “Do you think he’s at your house?”

    “Yeah, I was going to check there first.”

    “No problem, I can get you there in a jiffy.”

    “Really…? Okay, well, how does it work?”

    “Well, usually I just think of a person, place, or thing that I want to end up next to and start walking. So, uh, I guess just hold onto me and think of your place?”

    “Right.” You look a little nervous as you step up to him, not exactly sure about holding onto him. In the end, you just grab his hand, trying not to blush.

    “Ready?”

    “Yeah, let’s go.”

    Suddenly, you black out. You remember walking down the street, and then feeling dizzy. As your vision clears, you see the front steps of your house. You let go of Sans and try to rush forward, but immediately stumble. Luckily, Sans manages to catch you.

    “Whoa there. Be careful. Teleportation can really make you woozy if you’re not used to it.”

    You lean onto him and drape your arm over his shoulders, trying to steady yourself. “Thanks… Could you, uh, help me inside?”

    “Don’t worry, I gotcha.” You lean onto him a little more as he helps you go up the stairs. And finally, you’re on the porch. You manage to swing yourself up and try the door, finding that it’s unlocked, and that muffled Simple Plan is playing in the distance. Nicky always listens to that awful music when he is upset. You figured it’s typical for someone about to enter middle school.

    “He’s definitely here,” you finally say.

    Sans nods. “Is it alright if I come inside? I wouldn’t wanna intrude.”

    “Yeah, no, it’s fine. There’s some lemonade in the fridge. Nicky’s in his room, so I’ll just have a private talk with him in there, if you don’t mind.”

    “Thanks,” Sans says as he follows you into the house’s main room and plops down onto the couch. He looks exhausted, and for a moment you feel bad, wondering if it was you who tired him out. You had just met and already he had saved your skin-- you make a mental note to do something really nice for him later.

    Gently, you creep down the hall to Nicky’s room, where you hear the music playing and the sound of your brother furiously scribbling something. He must be using that diary you bought him months ago. You feel your heart warm, but then remember that you need to make sure he’s okay, and then give him a firm talking-to.

    You cautiously rap on the door. “Nicky? May I come in?” you ask in a soft voice.

    “Go away,” he replies. The music begins to blare louder.

    “Nicky, please. You’re not in trouble, I just wanna talk.”

    You hear tiny footsteps padding up to the door, and then see a single brown eye looking from the door’s peephole. Nicky opens the door very slowly.

    “Make it quick,” he grumbles. His face is red, and you can tell that he’s been crying. There’s also a nasty bump above his right eyebrow. The sheets on his bed are unkempt, as if he used them to make a cocoon to hide in. Your face contorts in sadness. Who would do this to your sweet little brother?

    You enter his room and sit yourself down on his bed before lowering the volume on his radio. “I got a call from the daycare worker. She was worried about you-- she said you got into a fight and ran away. I’ve never heard of you attacking someone. Tell me what happened.”

    He sighs and sits on the bed next to you, curling into a fetal position. “Adam kept calling me names and he wouldn’t leave me alone. I tried to ignore him at first, like you told me to, but then he…” Nicky pauses, “He called you a worthless dropout and then said I belonged in the dumpster with other abandoned kids… So I yelled at him, and then he hit me.”

    Cindy’s kid, huh? You’d have to have a little talk with her about what she was teaching her children. But nonetheless, this wasn’t about her. You were worried about your brother right now.

    “And you hit him back?”

    “Well, yeah. What else was I supposed to do, just let him beat me up?”

    “Well, no, but I…” You sputter. You knew how those daycares could be-- they didn’t care what happened as long as they didn’t interrupt anything. “Well, if it was just for self defense, it’s okay. But try not to hit anyone next time, alright?”

    “Yeah, but he was winning. I was still on top of him when the daycare lady got there, and no matter what I told her, she wouldn’t believe me.”

    You hug your brother to your side. “I’m sorry, Nicky. You know what? You don’t ever have to go back there if you don’t want to. I’ll find a babysitter or something. Why didn’t you tell me people were being mean to you sooner?”

    He looks up at you sadly. “I didn’t want you to get worried. When you worry you get all bloodshot and your hair looks messy. It makes me sad.”

    “Hey, hey. I’m an adult, I can handle this. You’re just a kid. You don’t need to worry about me anymore, okay? And don’t keep things from me.”

    “Okay…” He sighs, and you squeeze him closer to you. “Ow, hey, you’re crushing me!”

    “Sorry. Anyway, I’ll leave you be for now. Just tell me when you’re upset from now on.” You turn around to leave, opening the door once more.

    “(Y/N)?”

    “Yeah?”

    “Thanks…”

    “No prob, baby bro.” And then you exit.

    As soon as you step into the living room, you find Sans sleeping on the couch. It’s a pretty odd sight, since he’s supposed to be a skeleton, and skeletons aren’t supposed to have eyelids. It’s also… adorable? Somehow? He looks so relaxed, with that little throw blanket draped over his back, and his grin still ever present on his face. But you’re not about to just stand there and watch him sleep like some creeper. You slowly walk over and shake his shoulder.

    “Sans?”

    “Nnng… Wha… Oh, hey, (Y/N). I guess I… yawn… fell asleep again. You talk with your brother?”

    “Yeah. He’s fine for now, I think. Just got into a scuffle with Cindy’s kid.”

    “Oh, Cindy. Who’s that?”

    “She’s a neighbor of mine. Anyway, sorry about earlier, what were you going to ask me before I interrupted?”

    “Oh, uh. I won these tickets to see a movie the other day, and everyone else is busy. I was kinda wondering if maybe… Maybe you wanted to go with me?”

    “Hmm, perhaps,” you tease, “Is this a date?”

    “Only if you want it to be. You wouldn’t be the first person to want to get into the bone zone.”

    You snort loudly before laughing, and then cover up your mouth in embarrassment. “Ugh, sorry, that was just… That was just so bad.” You suppose it’s lucky that you have an excuse to cover your face, since you find yourself beginning to blush.

    “Of course, I only mean that humerus-ly. I’m a skeleton, so it’s not like I could even do much in terms of. Y’know.” A faint blue light akin to a blush spreads across his cheekbones, and you feel that this subject is getting awfully awkward.

    “Well, anyway, I’d be happy to go with you. You’re one of the nicest people I know. Not that that’s much of a feat since nearly everyone here is an asshole, but still.”

    “Thanks for the compliment. Anyway, it’s around rush hour now. You and your bro wanna grab some early dinner with me, since I’m already here?”

    “Well, actually, I was just going to make some macaroni and cheese, but you’re more than welcome to stay for that if you’d like! You did save my ass, so I am in debt to you and all.”

    “I do like macaroni and cheese. Or, really, anything that isn’t spaghetti.”

    “Spaghetti? I love spaghetti!”

    “Ugh, don’t tell that to my brother. For your own safety.”

    “Duly noted. Anyway, go ahead and feel free to watch TV while I cook, it’ll probably be awhile.”

    Sans nods, always happy at being offered an opportunity to be lazy and get free food out of it. If this was the reward for helping the cutest person at the PTA meeting, then he would definitely do this more often. Or at least, that was what you were hoping he was thinking, anyway. And then you wondered why the hell you were thinking that in the first place.

    After having to scrub a few dishes down, you fill your pot with the water and turn the stove on. Before you can even do anything else, the doorbell rings. You nearly slam the pot on the burner. “I’ll get it!” Sans doesn’t move from the couch as you rush to grab the door, since he's perfectly content just being lazy.

    You fling it open to see the rather unpleasant face of Cindy, your neighbor. She's sweating heavily, and still in her jogging clothes. She must have just come by to make your life a living hell. You feel bile rise in your stomach and instinctively clench your fists.

    “Oh… Hi Cindy. What do you need from me today?” you say, trying to be pleasant.

    “Don’t ‘hi Cindy’ me, (Y/N).  You know perfectly well why I’m here.”

    “Look, if this is about Nicky, I--”

    “I know you probably ‘talked it over’ with that little brat, but let’s face it. You’re just not strong enough to give him the punishment he needs. I mean, look at you. You’re hardly fit to raise a child, and now he’s gone and wailed on my poor baby. So either you keep that… that little demon spawn under control, or I’ll call social services and tell them about this little mishap.” Her nostrils flare as she waits for your response. You feel that if you hesitate any longer, she will literally punch you in the face.

    You still have a hard time speaking, mind reeling from shock. Was Cindy actually threatening you? You knew she didn't like you, but you had no idea she held this much malice toward you and your family. “I understand that you’re angry, but if you want me to control my brother, you need to control your damn kid and keep him from harassing mine!”

    “I don’t care what he says to him! That little shit probably deserved it--”

    “Hey, Cindy,” you hear Sans drawl from the couch, “Shouldn’t you spend time with your own kid instead of screaming at your neighbor?”

    “Wh… What in the name of--”

    “I was saying, you should spend time with him. He does know, after all, that you’ve been screwing your husband’s best friend, and he might just squeal on you if you stop being nice to him. And if your husband finds out, he’ll be absolutely heartbroken… that his best friend has such terrible taste in women.”

    Cindy’s eyes widen. “H-How did you…”

    “Trust me, I have my sources.”

    Cindy sputters, but is unable to find anything else to say. She looks around the room, then to Sans, and then back to you. She finally hisses a quick, “We’ll discuss this later,” before scurrying away from the door. She tries to jog away, and stumbles, catching her leg on a step. You close the door, giving a sigh of relief.

    “How did you know she was having an affair?”

    Sans shrugs. “Eh. Mom gossip. Toriel’s pretty easy to get along with among the mothers in the neighborhood, and she shares all of her news with me.”

    “Oh. I’ll have to meet her someday.”

    “Yeah. I can tell that she’d like you.”

    You giggle softly, but the sound of bubbles hitting metal interrupts you. “Oops, water’s boiling!”

    You run into the kitchen and dump the macaroni shells into the pot, making sure to stir them. The tv runs quietly in the living room, and you hear Nicky playing video games in his room. You thank whatever deity that exists that he’s not listening to Simple Plan or Linkin Park again. You add a little salt to the water for flavor. Then, when the noodles are done, you add cheese and butter to them. After stirring and cooling, the macaroni and cheese is ready. You wake Sans up from his nap, and then call Nicky out of his room.

    “Nicky! It’s dinner time!”

    “Coming!”

    You see him run out of his room wearing his spiderman pajamas and then pop into a chair, and you’re about to feel nervous before you remember that Sans is literally wearing slippers. The two stare at each other. And then, Nicky speaks.

    “Hey, who’s the guest? I didn’t know we were having anyone over.”

    “Oh, sorry! Nicky, this is Sans. Sans, this is Nicky.”

    “Nice to finally meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you, kid,” Sans says.

    “Wooow, so you’re really a skeleton? That’s so cool!”

    “Yup, I guess you could say I’m bone-a fide.”

    “Heh, you’re funny too! I like your basketball shorts.”

    “I like your pajamas. They’re very… spidery.”

    “Thanks!” Nicky begins digging into his noodles and wolfs them down rather rudely, but you figure it’s nothing to worry about. Besides, he looks so cute and silly with the cheese sauce smeared on his cheeks. You see Sans just poking at his noodles, looking disappointed, and then you remember that human food isn’t the same as monster food.

    “Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot. Are you not gonna be able to eat that?” you ask.

    “Yeahhhhhh… uh. I don’t think I can. Sorry, I didn’t wanna be rude.”

    “No! It’s okay, I’ll just save those for leftovers! I’m seriously happy to have you over anytime, just um… next time we can order a monster pizza or something, if they even have those.”

    “A monster pizza?!” Nicky exclaims, mouth half full of food, “That sounds awesome!”

    “Yeah, monster food is pretty cool. Being a hollow skeleton, it’s the only stuff I can eat,” he explains.

    “Ooh, it’s like, magic?”

    “Yeah, it’s made of magic.”

    “(Y/N), why don’t we ever get magic food?! It sounds so cool!” Both boys are looking at you for an explanation.

    “Well, the monsters did just get out of the underground and all. I just didn’t want to pressure them or make them uncomfortable with all my questions.” You rub the back of your head shyly.

    “Don’t worry about that. We love company.”

    “Oh, that reminds me. I’ve gotta start a search for a babysitter tonight.” You sigh, and rub your temples.

    “A babysitter?” Sans asks, “What if I told you that my bro and his best friend were out right now looking for odd jobs?”

    "Ooh, and they're willing to babysit?

    "Yeah. They're good people, and besides, Undyne got tired of working at my hot dog stand."

    “Really? Are they any good with kids?” You decide not to question why Sans has a hot dog stand. That would be a mystery for another day.

    “Great with them, they actually were some of Frisk’s best friends in the underground. And it would mean a lot, since they’ve been bored after the royal guard got disbanded. Here, lemme give you their numbers.” Sans reaches for his napkin and a stray pen conveniently lying on the table to scribble something down. He then hands the napkin to you, and you place it in your pocket.

    “Thanks! That’s twice now you’ve really saved me, how can I repay you?”

    “Just keep coming to the meetings so I can stay sane, and that’ll be enough,” Sans says, looking a little sadly at his untouched macaroni, “Anyway, I should go. At the very least to grab some junk food before the Temmie Mart closes.”

    “Well, you’re always welcome here, Sans.”

    “Thanks. I’ll see you around, (Y/N).” He gets up out of his chair and walks into the living room, and again, just disappears. It’s even weirder to watch now that he’s helped you teleport. You start feeling a little dizzy again, but maybe it's because of a different reason.

    “That guy was cool! When is he coming back?” Nicky asks.

    “Sometime soon, I hope,” you reply wistfully, pulling the napkin out of your pocket again to look at it. His handwriting is a little sloppy, but in a charming way. You manage to read the two names, Papyrus and Undyne. You’d have to call them tomorrow. You hoped sincerely they’d actually manage to keep your brother out of trouble.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanna say that when I read the 12 comments and saw all the kudos for just the short chapter, I literally burst into tears. Not because I'm sad but because I can't believe that so many people would like something that I made so much! Wowie! Anyway, thank you guys for being so nice and cool, and be happy knowing you made a grown man cry. That's quite an accomplishment.


	3. Certainly Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited Chapter three of this series that I forgot about. There are cool babysitters, cuddling, and crying. Enough said.

You really hate making phone calls. Every single time you do, all the steps seem to blur together. Pick up the phone. Dial the number. While you wait for them to answer, practice what you’re going to say a million times in your head. They answer. Talk. Don’t mess up a single word. Make sure you end the call quickly so you don’t run out of things to talk about. In the end, all these steps seem like an overwhelming, impossible task. But still, you need to do this. You will do it for Nicky. Staring at your phone’s keypad, fingers trembling over the call button… the thought of doing something so hard for your brother fills you with DETERMINATION.

Ring. Ring. You hear the phone pick up. Voice shaky, you try to greet Papyrus. “Hello?”

“Hello, human! My brother told me that someone would call me about a job soon. Is that you?” The voice that answers you is loud and somewhat scratchy. For some reason it reminds you of Skeletor. You try not to laugh.

“Uh… yes. See, I can’t take my little brother to daycare anymore, and Sans told me that you and your friend would be good kid...watching… people.” Great, you’d already fucked up by forgetting a vocabulary word.

“Of course! The Great Papyrus and his best friend Undyne can do anything! How old is this brother of yours?”

“Oh, he’s ten years old now.”

“Ten? What a delightful age! Frisk is about ten now! They should meet sometime.”

“Y...Yeah. Anyway, could you start tomorrow, from three to five? I can text you my address.”

“That sounds perfectly fine to me. I’m so excited to meet the human child!”

“Okay, well, how much do you want to be paid?”

“Hmm… I haven’t thought of that…” He pauses, before shouting to someone else, “Hey, Undyne! How much should the human pay us?”

You hear a husky, yet feminine voice shout back. You assumed that was Undyne. “Huh?! I dunno, maybe like… twenty dollars? I have no idea how human money works.”

“Twenty dollars? That seems a little excessive!” Papyrus replies.

“Papyrus, you’re not looking at the big picture. You can buy lots of spaghetti for twenty dollars.”

“Excellent! Twenty dollars it is,”  Papyrus exclaims, turning back to the receiver, “Thank you so much, human! It is nice to have a job again; I hope we’ll do well!”

“Wow, that’s a wonderful deal,” you mutter under your breath. Most teenagers would have you pay them forty dollars at the very least. These two seemed very sweet, though. You were excited to get to know them, even if you were a little nervous.

“I think I could definitely pay you that much. Anyway, I guess I’ll hang up for now; I can’t wait to meet you tomorrow after five!”

“Alright! Goodbye, human! Your brother and I are going to be best friends, I assure you!” Click.

“Huh, that was nice,” you finally say.

* * *

 

**AT PAPYRUS AND UNDYNE’S HOUSE**

“Oh my god!!” Papyrus squeals, running over to Undyne and bouncing excitedly, “We have a real job now! We get to be all businessy!”

“Hell to the yeah we do!” The muscular fish woman picks up the coffee table, about to give it a mighty slam into the hardwood floor, until she looks at Papyrus, whose eyes widen as he shakes his head rapidly. She then places it back down gently. He resumes grinning and jumping in place.

“I can’t wait to meet the little human! I can just see it now; Papyrus and Undyne, the best babysitters in the whole wide world, friend of every child! Defenders of the household!” He poses, placing a hand on his chest dramatically, and the other on his boney hip, his scarf somehow billowing in the… air conditioner…?

“Yeah, yeah! But before that, we need to go shopping! We need to whip up some bomb ass spaghetti, and then make them an awesome cake to go with it!” Undyne grabs Papyrus by the scarf, locking eyes with him, “Mark my words, this human is going to LOVE us. He doesn’t have a choice!”

**THE NEXT DAY**

Today had been another normal, slightly-crappy day for Nicky. Because of the incident at daycare the other day, nobody would talk to him at school. He heard that a group of monsters would begin attending his school. He learned that their ambassador, a child named Frisk, would also be attending for two months to make sure the human and monster kids got along. The whole class was abuzz, unable to keep quiet about the news. What would the monster kids be like, the kids had asked, would they be nice? An imaginative little girl named Paula shot her hand into the air and asked if there was going to be a pony monster to give her pony rides, to which a scrawny, bespectacled kid named Mack pointed out that even if there was, nobody would just carry her around for fun anyway because she was heavy. The two had fought, and his ever-tired teacher put them in the corner. Nobody said a word about the monsters for the rest of the day.

He sighed and stepped off the bus, ignoring the paper balls that were lobbed at his head. As he hopped down the steps and walked down the sidewalk, he caught a whiff of something bitter; was that smoke?! Oh god, his sibling didn’t leave the stove on when they finished breakfast and left, did they? He dashed to the door and twisted the doorknob, flinging it open, to find two very panicked monsters arguing over the stove.

“Papyrus, why is this happening?!”

“I don’t know! The burner just suddenly caught fire and when I tried to pour water on it, it just got bigger!”

“Well, quick! Try to find a fire extinguisher! I don’t want to be responsible for two houses burning down!”

“But the spaghetti will be ruined!”

“Hold on, I got it!” Nicky shouted. He knew what was happening. This was a grease fire, and they couldn’t be put out with water, they had to be smothered. He searched in the fridge, rummaging for the small orange box of baking soda that his sibling kept in there to keep it smelling fresh. Finally managing to find it among the messy refrigerator, he rushed back to the scene of the fire, took a handful of baking soda, and flung it into the flame. It almost immediately fizzled out. When it was low enough, Nicky twisted the knob and turned off the heat, sighing in relief.

Undyne was visibly nervous, fidgeting as a red blush coated her scaly cheeks. “Oh, that must be…”

“The tiny human,” Papyrus whispered, finishing her sentence. He felt awful; the child must have thought they were stupid.

“So, you guys are my babysitters?” Nicky asked, turning to face the two. Sheepishly, they both nodded.

“I’m Papyrus! The strong looking fish lady is Undyne.” Undyne just stood, not even responding to her introduction. She had no idea what to say.

“What were you trying to make?”

“We were going to make you some spaghetti, as a surprise, but then the burner suddenly caught fire,” Papyrus explained, “So I guess we’ll just have to--”

“Try again!” Undyne interrupted, pushing her way in front of Papyrus, “These fires happen all the time, but we won’t let it stop us! Human, we’re going to make you the best after-school spaghetti on earth, and you’re going to love us, okay?!”

“Erm…. You guys know there are cans of spaghettios in the cupboards, right? Besides, I just ate lunch, like, two hours ago,” Nicky answered.

“Oh,” said the two babysitters in unison. The room became so silent that you could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, Undyne grabbed the spaghetti pot from the eye of the stove and slam dunked it into the sink, the residual water droplets in the basin making a fizzling sound as the hot pot vaporized them.

“Forget the spaghetti, then! We’ll do something even better!”

“Th… That’s right, little human!” exclaimed Papyrus, “What do you do for fun around here?”

“Uh…” Nicky trailed off, twiddling his fingers absentmindedly, “I usually just watch anime on Netflix or something--”

“ANIME?!?!” Undyne cried, zooming over to the boy and grasping him by the shoulders, “YOU LIKE ANIME TOO?!”

“Y-Yeah…”

“DO YOU LIKE THE ONE WITH THE SWORDS?!”

“The… wha… There are a lot of shows that have swords…”

“It is decided then!” Papyrus interjected, “We will watch ALL the animes with the swords!”

As the two ran off toward the den, leaving Nicky behind, he began to wonder who was really babysitting whom.

* * *

 

**OUTSIDE OF A LOCAL COFFEE SHOP**

You sat, curled into a fetal position in the corner of an alley, crying softly into your hands. You couldn’t believe how unsympathetic your manager was, firing you just because you had to leave to chase down your brother. And now what would you do? Now that you were unemployed, social services would be breathing down your neck once again, when you had just managed to get them off your back. Oh god, what would you do if they took Nicky from you? He was sweet, sure, but he had the attitude and the energy of a wolverine, along with his reluctance to befriend strangers. He’d be so lost without his family. He was already so lost at school, and with the neighbors…

You’re so lost in your own pity party that you neglect to hear the whooshing sound behind you, and you don’t even bother to look up until you feel a hand on your shoulder.

“Hey, Y/N. What’s going on?” the voice asks.

You gaze up slowly to see a familiar skeleton, and without thinking, you launch yourself into Sans’ chest, sobbing uncontrollably. He miraculously catches you and doesn’t collapse from the sudden weight on his bones. You feel him instinctively yank back before patting you gently and eventually wrapping one arm protectively around your shoulders.

“Hey hey, what’s with the waterworks all of a sudden?” he questions, slowly helping lower you back to the ground as your legs buckle beneath you, “Come on, you’ll be okay. Just relax…”

You allow yourself to sink onto the ground, your side pressed against the cool brick wall of the coffee shop. His arm is still holding you loosely, making sure you don’t fall. You sniffle and cough a few times, trying to calm yourself down. As soon as he sees that you’ve managed to snap out of your hysteria, he pats you and lets you go, turning toward you.

“That’s better… For a second you really had me nervous,” Sans chuckles, “Now, tell me what’s wrong.”

You sniffle once more, drying your eyes with the sleeve of your shirt. “I… My boss couldn’t forgive me for chasing Nicky yesterday… I don’t have a job anymore…”

“Yikes,” said Sans, “That really blows.”

“Ya think?” you laugh bitterly, leaning into his chest. This is weirdly intimate even though you hardly know him and he smells like ketchup and your hands are sweaty, but you don’t care. He’s warm and he’s alive and he’s softer than the bricks behind you.

“I get it,” he replies, brushing his hand over your hair, “We’ve all had sucky days. I was feeling pretty sucky earlier, in fact.”

“Haha, you?” you ask, raising one eyebrow, “You don’t seem the type, Mr. Funnybones.”

“Oh, believe me,” he says as he lowers his head, “I’ve had my fair share of bad times.”

You don’t answer, just burying your head in his shirt. Even if it was embarrassing, you needed to feel something other than crushing despair. You needed to forget about the moment. You needed… you needed…

Beneath you, Sans shifted, and you forced yourself to straighten your back. He stood up, and offered you his hand.

“Come on, let’s blow this joint.”

Wearily, and still kneeling, you took his hand, and the world spun around you. You felt yourself blacking out due to the dizziness, seeing twirling flecks of blue light float across your dulling vision.

You jolt awake on someone else’s couch. 

Blearily, you look around as your memory comes flooding back to you. Your head hurts. Your head… your job, your life… Sans… Nicky….

Nicky!

You tumble off the couch in surprise, hearing a crinkling sound underneath your palm. As you try to soothe your now-aching butt, you notice that you’ve knocked a piece of paper off the couch with you. Slowly, you un-wrinkle the note and read it quietly to yourself.

_ Y/N, _

_ you kinda passed out earlier. don’t worry about your brother; i told paps and undyne to stay the night. i’ll pay them for you. rest here as long as you like, just knock on my door if you need me. _

_ sans _

You rest your arm on the sofa, trying to prop yourself back up onto it but failing miserably. It seems that your limbs don’t want to cooperate with you just yet. You don’t want to yell for Sans, because that would be rude. But you really don’t want to sleep on the floor.

Trying one more time, you successfully prop yourself back onto the couch and flop over. You didn’t want to be awake right now. Real life was scary. Real life had mean bosses and cruel social workers and evil PTA ladies. Real life was not appealing anymore. You just want to sleep and sleep and sleep… And slowly, you drift off once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry, I kinda completely forgot about this series, but I kept looking at these wonderful comments, and I couldn't just leave this little thing here. Especially not after my architect ass went ahead and planned the entire series out with complete character arcs and everything. So I hope that you all still enjoy this!


End file.
